There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
