Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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