I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
