She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
