i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
