Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
