textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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