:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
