My Higher Power is John Stamos
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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