I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
