You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
