Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
