If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize