Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
