I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
