im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
