Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize