Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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