oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
