he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did I show you my penis last night?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
