I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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