I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize