cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
