They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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