How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
