I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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