"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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