I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
