maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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