member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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