I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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