Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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