so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
