It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
They have beer where we have blood.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
