She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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