Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
