I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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