end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's never too late to be topless.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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