so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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