We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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