I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize