god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
