after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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