I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
