Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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