When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize