Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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