he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
