I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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