lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
