Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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