I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I deserve this hangover.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
