Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she woke up with a sticky ear
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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