her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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