I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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