i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
