birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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