hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
