Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
