do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
