Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
