yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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