I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
