i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
