You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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