I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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