i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is classic penis vs brain.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
