sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will pee on everything he values.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
