Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
