So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
