So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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