sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i drank out of a bidet.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
