guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My dick has a subreddit
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
