highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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