Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
