hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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