Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
