She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
